


Whatever our Souls are Made of

by FyreinFlair



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, Female Mage Hawke - Freeform, Fluff, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, fenhawke - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-03
Updated: 2017-12-03
Packaged: 2019-02-09 20:41:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12896382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FyreinFlair/pseuds/FyreinFlair
Summary: "Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.”― Emily Brontë, Wuthering HeightsThe moment you turn ten years old, the first words you will hear from your soulmate appears as a permanent marking upon your left forearm.When Shannon Hawke receives a less-than-ideal phrase as her bond mark, she must learn what fate truly has in store for her.





	Whatever our Souls are Made of

As a child, Shannon Hawke always thought that the idea of soulmates was so romantic. Every night before falling asleep she would beg her mother to tell her stories about her and her father's first meeting. Smiling, Leandra would tuck the giggling child into bed and recite the story the same way she had a thousand times before.

 

"When I turned ten I knew that my soulmate would be someone special.  My bond mark said 'I'll protect you.' so I always knew that my love would be kindhearted, someone who wanted me to be safe.  Of course, my parents were worried for me.  My mark meant that I would be in danger, and in the world of nobility they always hoped for 'safe' bond marks such as 'Hello' or 'Nice to meet you'. " At this point Leandra would always lean in to the small child, as if telling her the most naughty secret, "But I didn't care.  I would dream at night of dashing rogues, daring warriors, or valiant knights vanquishing foes just to sweep me off my feet."  She tickled Hawke's nose and she laughed, pulling her blanket up underneath her eyes.

 

"And so, growing up I became increasingly disappointed by my fancy, safe noble life.  Every party I attended after my 10th year was so dull.  Parents would introduce their children to each other, hoping for a match to be found within a house of good fortune.  I tried my best to be a good daughter for my parents, but the more people I met, the more I realized that my soulmate was never going to be a child of nobility. So, I became... more daring. I wanted to travel, to reach out to far spread worlds. Maybe my soulmate wasn't in Kirkwall, but in Rivain, Orlais, or Antiva!"

 

Leandra laughed, cuddling in close with her small daughter. "Well, I did start to travel. At least, as far as I could go without my parents having a heart attack.  I would go further and further each time, making up excuses of study and suchlike.  But then one day, I was traveling the coast with a few of my family's guards when a group of bandits appeared from nowhere!  My guards were completely taken by surprise. One of them was instantly killed by an arrow to the back of his head, falling into the sand, and all I could do was stand there in shock! They began taking down each one of my guards, and one by one they fell, the poor souls.  The bandits were too cunning, and once the guards were out of the way they turned their eyes, and weapons, to me.   Suddenly I felt the fears of my parents rushing back into me.  Here I was about to be killed, and all of it for nothing! But right when I felt the sharp, cold blade of the bandit's dagger, I finally heard the words I'd been waiting for."

 

Hawke poked her head back out from under the blanket, smiling, "I'll protect you!" Leandra rubbed her little head, smoothing her dark hair behind freckled ears. "Yes my darling girl. The bandits were blown back in an instant, dagger flying into the ocean! I felt a powerful presence beside me, and then those fated words: ‘I will protect you’.  In that instant, I knew. I was speechless! This dashing mage was defending me, casting spells left and right to vanquish my enemies just as I had dreamed.  And he seemed to have come out from nowhere! He managed to take down the bandits fairly easily, and when he turned to me I finally got to see my love's face.  He was so beautiful." Leandra sighed for a moment, "He still is.  All I could muster out was, 'You saved my life' and I could see the realization hit his face.  He reached out to me with his left hand, and I accepted.  When we brought our arms together we sealed the bond and the marks grew hot until they burned away into thin air, charmed by the old magic as they are.  We were finally together, and it never felt more right.  And that, my dear, is how I met your father."

 

Hawke smiled wider, and took her arm out from under her blanket.  "Do you think I'll ever have a story like that, mama?"  Leandra tucked her daughter back under the covers.  "Of course, my sweet girl.  You'll get your bond mark in a few years time, and one day you'll have a story all your own."  She kissed her forehead lightly, quietly saying, "And when I'm old, you'll tuck me in every night and I'll beg you for the story every single time.  Sounds good to you?"

 

Hawke giggled, "Yes mama."

 

Sounds wonderful.

 

***

 

On Hawke's tenth birthday, she waited with anxious anticipation as the black letters started to form on her forearm.  It wasn't painful, but was odd to watch the script write itself, an ancient magic that was so different from that which her or her father practiced.

Bethany ran in, looked at Hawke and instantly ran back outside yelling, "Mama! Shannon's arm is changing! The marks are appearing!"

Leandra came back in, abandoning the laundry she had been working on.  "Oh my darling, let me see!"

Hawke was staring at her arm, worried.  What would it say? Who would her soulmate be? She's wanted this moment for so long but now that it was happening she was suddenly terrified.

"Your... men... a... are..."  What an odd phrase to start with, but she waited as it continued. But after the next word, the fear increased twofold.  "Your men are dead..."

Hawke remained silent as the mark continued to grow into more words.  She looked away from her arm.  Why would her soulmate say this? Was it to her? Was her soulmate going to kill someone she was with? Her mother lightly held her arm, studying it.

"It's done sweetheart, if you wish to look at the rest."  She spoke gently, trying to reassure Hawke but when she looked it only made her feel worse.  "Your men are dead and your trap has failed." Hawke bit her lip, and blinking back tears she looked up at her mother.  "Mama... Mama, what does this mean?"

Leandra rubbed Hawke's arm gently, trying to remain as calm as she possibly could.  After all, she always promised herself she wouldn't fret over the mark as her parents did, but this was... unusual. She sat down next to her daughter.

"It means exactly what it always does, these are the words your love will say when you meet them for the first time."  Hawke jerked her arm away, the tears beginning to escape from her eyes.

"But this isn't a fairytale phrase! It talks of death and traps and what if they are a bad person! Mama make it go away." The tears flowed readily from her eyes now.  Leandra hugged her daughter and clung tightly to her small frame. 

 

"You can never know the context my dear, you don't know how this will happen or who they are.  The Maker has a plan, and it's not always easy to tell what it is."  She held her daughter's face and looked into her eyes. "Have faith, my girl. Everything will be alright, you'll see."

All she could do was hope that her mother was right.

***

Of course the blighted blight shitty blight blight thing was destroying Thedas.  Just what she needed right now.

Hawke was a strong enough mage that by now she could cut a path through as many darkspawn that came her way, but it didn't make the task any less exhausting.  Her mana was running low and panic started prickling at the back of her mind. If only father were here...

But he wasn't.  Hawke gritted her teeth and kept moving forward, if not for herself but for her mother, her family.  They needed her and she sure as dicks wasn't going to let them down, not now.

They met a woman named Aveline and her bondmate Wesley along the way, a templar no less.  Hawke rolled her eyes and tightened her grip on her staff, but at least they were a reasonable sort.

However, just as she thought they might have a fighting chance, their luck fell out from under them.

Bethany.

For a moment all Hawke could feel was anger towards her sister.  She knew Bethany shouldn't be the target of her fury, but she couldn't stop screaming childish insults in her mind

 

But she didn't mean it, not at Bethany.

She knew she truly blamed it on herself.

Leandra cried.  Her baby girl was gone in an instant, the echo of her life still etched on her arm.  Her soulmate apparently would have said "I'm sorry."

Fitting.

All they could do now was continue to move forward.

***

Kirkwall was a fucking mess.

Hawke tightened the wrappings on her left arm.  She had worn them for years, but it had become more of a necessary in this shit hole of a city. Ever since first receiving her bond mark, her mother suggested the wrappings.  It kept her focused on her life without the constant reminder of the manner in which she might meet her soulmate.

It helped.  But every time she had to change the wrappings it only stung her more as a child.  By now, at least she was used to it, she didn't have the fantasies of meeting some gallant knight in shining armor like she did when she was young.

At this point she just wanted to keep her friends and family alive, and apparently throwing herself into the deep roads was going to be the best way to accomplish this.

Fantastic.

Varric might not have been a knight in shining armor, but at least he had a sense of humor.   Traveling around Kirkwall doing odd jobs and cleaning up the streets for coin was no walk in the park but Hawke was used to it by this point.  It's how you got by here.

So when she met a random dwarf named Anso, she hadn't expected anything different. Fight some people, grab the goods, get the coin.  It was routine by now.

Except of course this mission would go wrong.  After fighting a dozen or so guards, Anso's  goods were nowhere to be found, chest empty.  Hawke sighed. "Well. So much for that."

And of course, when they returned to the streets, a few dozen more armed men came for them.  "Oh so it's a party!"  Varric laughed as him and Carver took one side of the street and Aveline and Hawke took the other.

They cut through them pretty easily, only minor injuries.  "Be wary, there might be more up ahead."  Aveline was always cautious.

A man walked towards them full of pride and command.  "I don't know who you are, friend, but you made a serious mistake coming here." He glared at them menacingly.

Hawke tightened her grip on her staff, ready to gut the bastard.  He cried out, "Lieutenant I want everyone in the clearing, now!"  He smiled like he had already beaten them, but the sound of a man stumbling, bleeding to death behind him dampened that thought.   He fell down with a word, "Captain!"  Poor soul. Hawke shook her head, whoever had messed this guy up was good.

And then she heard it.  The words she'd cringed at for years, wrapping cloth around them to hide from the world.

A dark, handsome elf with strange markings walked toward them, and addressing the Captain, "Your men are dead and your trap has failed."  Hawke's heart fluttered immediately.  Could it be? Here? And he wasn't addressing her? But surely she's never seen this elf anywhere before, so this is their first meeting...

The elf continued, "I suggest running back to your master while you can."  He was beautiful.  His hair was a silvery white, and clashing with his skin. Hawke's heart seemed to beat a bit too loudly, could it really be him?

The captain suddenly grabbed him, "You're going nowhere slave!"  And that's when the elf turned blue, and with one swift motion reached in, and pulled out the captain's heart.

"I am not a slave." He crushed the heart and threw it on the ground. Hawke stared at it for a moment.  "Holy shit."  It was all that she could mutter.

It took a few seconds for her to realize, that if this really was her soulmate, the poor man had to have "holy shit" written on his arm.

Typical.

***

Hawke got through the encounter with her bond mate, now known to her as Fenris, without much more incident than a few sideways glances from her brother and Aveline and a promise of another meeting to search for a slaver.

And if Fenris noticed anything regarding their bond mark, he sure didn't make any indication of it to Hawke.

They managed to make it back to Varric's room at the Hanged Man before anyone touched upon the topic.

Aveline closed the door behind them and once it clicked shut, "Alright. Talk."

Hawke faked ignorance, "Whatever do you mean?"  Aveline sighed and walked over to her. "You know exactly what I mean, Hawke.  I may have only known you for a year or so, but I know what your bond mark says, and that was it."

Hawke sighed.  "Who knows, you hear the phrase 'Your men are dead' all the time nowadays. It must be a Tuesday..."

Carver looked at her from across the table.  "Sister... you have to talk to him.  You know it's him, just do it."

Hawke stood up and walked over to the wall.  Why was she so nervous about this? "I will, I promise.  But please just... let me do this on my own time alright? I just met him and... I don't know something doesn't feel right."  She sighed and turned to leave. "I'll handle things, but it's my mark, my decision.  I'll do what I like with it."

***

He hated mages.

That was it, that was the zinger she could feel when they met.  Of course he hated mages, he was tortured by them for as long as he could remember.  She tried not to show that she was hurt, but it did.  She wanted to tell him, but what would he do? To learn that your soulmate was someone who you despise?  No no... she couldn't do that to him.  Maybe it was best to just leave him be.  Why should a mark tell people what to do anyway?

The others left her alone.  Varric had a similar issue with his so he didn't even need to say anything to confirm it.

But Carver? Of course he was going to be a pain in the arse.

"You going to tell mother you're ignoring your bond?"

"No, and leave me alone."

"Oh come on, you've wanted this your entire life and when he's finally here, you just ignore him?"

"He HATES MAGES Carver! He's said so! He puts up with me but how could he love one? This must be a mistake, maybe his mark doesn't say what I said, this could just be a mistake.  One I'm not going to make a fuss over."

Of course, she did.

***

It was a couple months before she mustered up the courage to talk to him.  He was beautiful, kind, and even though he had his thing with mages, he seemed able to change.

So she took a leap.

She had visited him in his mansion a few times before, just to talk or hang out, but when she saw him this time she couldn't help but be nervous.

"Fenris?"

Fenris nodded from the chair where he was pouring himself a glass of wine. "Hawke."

She watched him for a moment, thankful Fenris wasn't afraid of silences.  She could feel her heart in her chest, though she desperately wished it would shut up. He grabbed another glass and hesitated before pouring, looking up momentarily to lock eyes with her.

She nodded in agreement and sat down across from him as he poured her a glass.  "It's a good thing I'm fond of wine, Danarious sure did leave plenty behind.  I'll gladly drink it all if it puts him out of anything," Fenris said bitterly.  

 

Hawke raised her glass, "Sounds like a good cause, sign me up."

They clinked glasses and drank in silence for a while, Hawke kept turning over how she would bring up her bond mark, but she had no idea what to say.

After the first round of drinks were finished and Hawke had eagerly accepted the second glass, Fenris finally broke the silence. "As much as a pleasure it is to share wine with a beautiful woman, I'm sure you didn't come here simply to stare at the bottom of your glass." Hawke rubbed the stem of her wine glass anxiously, "Ah yes, of course."

She took a breath as he waited patiently.  "I er, was curious, Fenris." She set her glass down so she could writhe her fingers under the table.  "Do you have bond marks in Tevinter?

Fenris furrowed his brow for a moment in confusion.  "Bond marks...? "  

Hawke tried to explain, "They appear on your left forearm, and says the first words of your-"

"Ah! yes. We call them Tusvatin, or soul writing I suppose in your language. Why do you ask?"  Fenris tilted his head.

Hawke looked down at the table and mustered up what courage she could. "Well, I had just wondered because you always wear gauntlets, so I never saw if you had one or not, have you found your... person or...?"

Fenris chuckled for a moment.  "You actually think they teach slaves to read? They purposefully keep our marks a secret from us so we focus on our lives under our master.  My lyrium markings even run over my Tsuvatin, though I'm not sure what it says. I've never even asked anyone what it was honestly."

Hawke looked up at him then.  "You never were even curious? Not even now?"

Fenris stood up and paced.  "And why should I be? Perhaps I was before I received these markings, however that's besides the point.  Living under Danarius, the thought of it barely crossed my mind.  How could it?  My life had one purpose: to serve.  To exist. So I did. If it wasn't for the others running around gossiping about their Tusvatin then it probably would have escaped my mind entirely."

He stood by the fireplace, staring into the flames as if searching for something. "I suppose I was curious on occasion.  It's hard to not think of... the possibility of enjoying another's company.  But when you're a slave you learn to push those thoughts out of your mind."

Hawke stood up and walked slowly to the other side of the fireplace, afraid to get too close. Leaning against the banister, she said softly, "But you've escaped years ago, you aren't a slave anymore.  Have you not been curious since that time?"

Fenris was quiet, continuing to stare into the fire.  "I suppose so.  Being away from Tevinter has given me... options.  More than I ever thought I would have.  But still..." He looked up at Hawke. "Even if I were to know, or find whoever my Tusvatin matched, why would they ever want to be with me?  I'm an escaped slave with these horrible markings and hatred etched into my skin.  Who would want to be with that?" He turned away from Hawke. She reached out to comfort him, but his markings flared and he shrugged away.

Seeing the pained expression on Hawke's face, he softened and shook his head, sinking down onto the bench.

"I apologize, I'm just not used to people... being close to me... I've never really had a friend before.  Not that I can remember anyway."

Hawke sat down beside him.  "If you like, I could tell you what your mark says, just so you know.  Only if you want me to of course." 

Fenris looked at his arm, and sighed.  "Alright.  I might as well know."  He placed his forearm in her lap as she undid the fastenings.

His lyrium markings covered up most of the words, but she was able to make it out.

Her heart skipped a few beats.  "Holy shit..." she whispered. 

Fenris looked at the mark, waiting for a moment before asking, "Well, what does it say?"  

Hawke breathed a small laugh. "I said it actually, it reads 'Holy shit'."

Fenris chuckled. "Is it so? Well that could be anyone looking at me for the first time honestly.  I'm quite the terror to behold."

Hawke didn't know what to say... she bit her lip.  Thankfully Fenris spoke again.

"And since you are all about curiosity, may I ask you what your Tusvatin says?  We've only spoken about me, but I see you wrap your arm up as well."

Hawke let go of his arm and hesitated.  "Of course.... I suppose I owe you that much after hounding you with personal questions anyway."  She unwrapped her arm bandages and looked at her bond mark again, reading it just to make sure those words that appeared so many years ago were truly still there.

But there they were indeed.  Shining the same way they did many years ago when they first appeared. But now... maybe it was okay.  It felt right.

Fenris reached out and touched her arm.  "Yours is much longer than mine, I see why you wrap it so. What does it say?"

Hawke chuckled, then sighed as she repeated the words she'd seen so many times. "Your men are dead and your trap has failed." She paused, waiting to see if realization would hit Fenris.  He was frozen, thinking intensely. Finally he spoke.

"I... that sounds familiar..."

Hawke rubbed the mark with her other hand, avoiding his eyes.  "I... you said them.  When we first met."

Fenris stiffened. He opened his mouth, closed it, then muttered, "And then... then you said..."  Hawke stayed silent, fearful of... of what she wondered? Rejection? or acceptance?

But to her surprise, he chuckled again.  "Holy shit indeed."  Fenris reached for her right hand.  She allowed him to hold hers, but she still couldn't look him in the eye.

"Hawke... Shannon.  Look at me."  She finally lifted her head to match his forest green eyes. "Why didn't you say something before?"

Hawke shook her head. "I... You said you hated mages, and after everything they have done to you I thought you never would even want... me.. or I don't know. I was a coward.  I just didn't want to be another mage that hurt you."

Tears welled up in her eyes. Fenris's free hand cupped her cheek. "It... it is hard for me. But... you are different Shannon.  I don't know how... true these markings are but... I'm willing to give it a chance if you are."

Hawke chuckled as she looked into his eyes again.  Reaching out for his left hand with hers, she held on and lifted his hand up.

"I am."

They placed their forearms together, initiating the bond as the magic whirled around them.

Kissing Hawke's hand, Fenris whispered, "Then I am yours."

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I love the idea of soulmates and with the magic in thedas it just makes sense. This took forever to write, but I think I'm ready to post. Thank you to Rachelle for being the best beta ever <333


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